It’s been a little over a month since I had the biggest surgery of my life. The first three weeks I was heavily sedated on different medications to help with recovery. And so, I was feeling nice and relaxed. I basically was sleeping all day and all night. But as I’ve started weaning my way off the medications, some of the anxieties I had about my body before the surgery are coming back. This is one of my biggest weaknesses. Because I’ve had to deal with an injury I sustained six years ago, I’m always extremely aware of how my body is feeling. I had this constant pressure and discomfort in my right neck and shoulder for every minute of every day of those six years until the surgery. And then, after the surgery, it felt like that pressure and discomfort had gone away. I’m not saying that my body was a hundred percent or even close. I knew I had a lot of work to do before I knew I would feel fully healthy and fit again. But that specific sensation felt like it was gone. And it made me really grateful that I had gone with the surgery and that chapter of my life was over.

And then, about a five days ago, there was colloidal oatmeal on the bottom of the bathtub and I stepped in and it was so slippery, I immediately slipped and knew I was gonna hit the floor. In that moment, as I slipped backwards onto the bathroom mat next to the bathtub, all I could think about was the fact that I might mess up everything the surgeon had done, which is literally probably one of my biggest fears, if not the biggest. Luckily, I’m coordinated and have good reflexes, and I was able to fall on of leg and butt and then on my right elbow. So, I basically landed perfectly and didn’t feel anything negative happen to my chest, which is where I had my surgery.